On the Turning Away | Poem

I.
There’s something in the mellow that clouds my better judgement

There’s something in the mellow that slows my inner workings 

The cogs just aren’t oiled enough

I think I’m working well enough

But time comes down to performance

And I can’t perform

II.
Oh
Thinking about all the artists I wish I could be like…
I think of the poets and what their inspiration was like

Now I’m dreaming of the night where thoughts come to me
So effortlessly

Said I’m dreaming of the night where the thoughts come to me
Effortlessly

I’m hoping for the day where you don’t turn away
And we both live in harmony

Still I pray for the night where the inspiration comes and it stays with me Endlessly

III.
What I thought I’d found,

What I thought was real,

Was merely just my hopes come true for a moment as the dream slipped away

Then I felt the sunlight creep through the windowpane 

And I felt it turn away
;
Once again
;
I think of the poets
I think of their pain
I think about their work and try to emulate the same

I look to the artist
I turn to the muse
I gaze upon them both
I try to emulate their views

I search til the day ends
I seek throughout the night
I’ll go until I’m bone
Until my body gives loses might

Is that what you hope for
Is that what you need
For the creative ones to suffer
Til they’re raw, til they bleed

I won’t be discarded
But I will be to blame
I’ve never sought out tears
I’ll never ask for fame

There’s something much deeper
Something so sublime
Just beneath the surface
Where it stirs the wheels of time

It lifts and it tugs
It yanks and it pulls
It rips a man in half
To use the body as its tool

It can’t be denied
It can’t be obscured
Clear as all day
The thing that must endure

It touches without hands
It hexes without words
It was there before communion
When the artist was first lured

IV.
Well, I’m hoping for the night where the thoughts come to me
So effortlessly

I say, I’m hoping for the night where the inspiration comes
And it stays with me
Endlessly

I hope to gain an insight
I hope to change my views

Leave me with something
Something that is real
Impress upon me things that swell the depths of how I feel

Just fill me up with something that will never leave
V.
Forming and un-forming

In the endless expanse

In the measureless expanse

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