Method to Fight Social Anxiety | Journal Entry
I debated posting this mostly from an anxious place. I feared that I’d be “good deed signaling” if that’s even a thing. I decided to post anyway because that is a dumb concern and when one person does a good action it usually motivates others to do something similar. Also, people who attempt to shame others for this are likely insecure about something. Quit bitching, quit shaming, and go do something good for someone else. In this case it was donating my PS4 to a school my Uncle works at. That shit it dope. A bunch of kids will be able to have fun with it. Why would I ever be ashamed of doing that? Well, that’s a fine example of why anxiety is really dumb.
Anywho, this is an entry from my Evernote. I essentially use it as a journal and place to put song ideas, poems, and general thoughts. Most of this site’s essays came from thoughts in my Evernote. Evernote is the homie. So, this post came from my trying to be more social while fighting social anxiety, I’ve gotten really good at hiding it, but I still deal with it all of the time. Keeping these things in mind helps me give myself permission to accept any outcome in a social situation that I feel uncomfortable in.
Note: I mention the Tao here and talk about enjoying shifts. The Daodejing doesn’t say anything about enjoying these things, but I use enjoy as a way of describing simply being aware of these shifts and not fighting against them. I’m just saying, buy the ticket and take the ride. All right here it goes.
The Mindset for Fighting Social Anxiety
“Worst case scenario I was just…”
- “Trying to be nice”
- “Trying to be kind”
- “Trying to brighten someone’s day”
- “Trying to be friendly”
“Worst case scenario… “
- “It’ll be funny”
- “I/we can laugh about it later”
- “I’ll be better at it in the future”
- “I had good intentions”
- “It’s not the end of the world”
- “I can just laugh at myself”
“At least… “
- “I reached out”
- “I gave it a shot”
- “I was there”
- “I learned something”
- “I pushed past anxiety”
- “I had fun”
- “I was honest”
- “I got in the arena”
- “I made progress”
- “I saw it through to the end”
- “I laughed”
- “They laughed”
- “We laughed”
- “I made them smile”
- “I can be proud of myself for moving past anxiety”
These are some the phrases that really help me push past anxiety. I’m starting to notice that when I eat clean, workout, and be kind to myself, the anxiety is held back. I am nicer to others, I bring better attitudes to interactions, and I have more fun while creating more fun environments for everyone to be in.
Remember: There’s a SEAL out there with really bad anxiety. He does what he needs to do to handle it. He operated at the highest level even with anxiety on his back. He has a wife that loves him. All of those things are possible for me too. Never give up hope.
A post on Reddit made me consider how much more comfortable I felt in my own skin when I did things for others. Donating the PS4 felt good. Anonymous good deeds feel super good. Attempting to hear and listen to them felt good too. Asking better questions and trying to ask how people are doing while they work/are providing a service feels good as well. And it seems to make some people feel really good.
Investing more in others made me feel less anxious about myself. Doing things for others made me think less about myself. I think just attempting to have fun with it all helped a lot. I’m a bit of an awkward guy at times, so accepting this and laughing at myself in a supportive way (like you would at your puppy trying to figure out the world) takes off a lot of the edge. I want to keep these in mind so I can try to move towards them when I’m feeling down.
Giving myself the love and understanding and support that I would give to my own kids if I had them
These things help me move away from anxious thoughts.
These methods help me enjoy the journey a little more.
I think I will study some Epictetus if he claims that happiness is the meaning of life. I feel enjoyment is a word that works for me. Things become rough and then smooth again. I want to enjoy the highs and lows as they come. Like the Tao, I want to enjoy the constant shifting of ups and downs. I want to learn and grow from them. I wish to be happy within the mire while content and accepting of the time in the muck that will inevitably come.
For reference: Here is a video about that SEAL I mentioned. Since I really admire the Special Operations community, him sharing his experiences helped me see that the issues I deal with (though small), don’t have to prevent me from being a part of things I really believe in.
I hope this post helped you in some way. Anxiety in all of its forms sucks. It can literally stop you in your tracks and prevent you from living and enjoying life or even ruin the time you wish to spend with the people you love. I’ve been there. People I love have been there.
If you’re fighting against anxiety now, then I wish you strength and the courage to be patient and kind to yourself. It is easy to get frustrated when you just want to be “normal” and have “normal” interactions with people. Take your time, find what works for you, and be kind to yourself. You are one hundred percent worth your own time, love, and investment.
It can be difficult, but it is worth challenging your beliefs about yourself. If you really think you’re not worthy of love or kindness, then maybe you should find out why you feel that way. It isn’t true, yet you still believe it. Try telling yourself the opposite, it may feel horribly uncomfortable at first, but keep doing it. Eventually it will feel normal, and then it will feel true. Just keep in mind that it has always been true. If that is a hard pill to swallow, then perhaps the major influences in your life (family, friends, teachers, religion/spirituality, formative experiences) have seated something negative in your mind. Therapy is a great option to moving past those feelings. Don’t let anyone shame you for seeking help to gain better mental health. We never shame those who work out their bodies, why would we shame a person seeking to have a healthier mind. The mind is our single greatest ally and enemy throughout the course of human existence. Don’t let anyone downplay the significance of a healthy mind or healthy self-image.
Thank you for reading.